A Letter to Donald Trump – because He is him!

Mr. Donald Trump
Any of the Trump Towers,
Any of the Major Cities of the US,
United States. The World (which is obviously too small for you.)

Anand the Parodist,
His Cluttered Desk,
Somewhere near Delhi,
India, The World (which is obviously too large for this small fish.)

Dear Mr. Trump,
After wishing you another fun-filled, green-tinted, dollar-sequined day, I’d like to come straight to the reason that brought about this letter.

What prompted me to write this, is your recent appearance on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon – specifically the part where Fallon tried to ape your affectations with little success. Following are my observations along with their analyses. I present them to you with a hope that in future, you will allow no one, repeat no one to imitate your glorious self, unless they can really portray the real you – because yyooouuuu are you!

Here are some reasons why Jimmy Fallon’s imitation of your sparkling-self fell revealingly short of my expectations.

His pout looked like a tear in a piece of paper, while yours looks like a portal between two parallel universes – mine and yours. Mine where I must write these letters to you in a hope to earn a few smiles, and yours, where you can decide to spend a billion dollars trying to get the American people to vote for you.

His thatch of dirty-blond mop, looked nothing, repeat nothing like yours. I have a feeling that when Bobby Jindal talked about the squirrel squatting on your head, he had your hair confused with Fallon’s wig. Your silken dome of golden hair glows from the inside. I presume it’s the glow of your faaantaastic, repeat faaantaastic mind that escapes through the pores of your scalp and lights it up. Fallon’s wig, on the other hand, could’ve been made from the fur that my dog sheds every summer. There was no inner glow, no Trump-energy. Because yyooouuuu are you!

His imitation of your gestures was, in one word, a travesty of the grandiosity that is Trump. They lacked your energy, your charisma, your strength, and your purpose. Your gestures have all of these, and the viewers I am sure realize that with every twin-jab of your index fingers, you make double the point, with every palm-down gesture, you pat the point down in the heads of the bewildered American voter – the point being, Donald Trump is the guy who can actually “Make America Great Again.” At this point, I’d like to mention that the only gentleman who can come close to you in gesturing is India’s home minister, Mr. Rajnath Singh. (Please visit this link to appreciate the similarities.)

Mr. Trump, I am writing to you with the hope that in future, if at all you decide to appear on the Tonight Show, you dedicate a tiny part of your $1 billion election budget to get Fallon a good makeup artist. That will take care of the hair-issue. The gesturing and pouting could be trickier to handle – perhaps, you could coach him personally – and I know you can do it – because yyooouuuu are you!

I hope that you will take cognizance of the issues I’ve raised in this letter, and ensure that your next appearance on the Tonight Show is with someone who is really you.

I would also like to extend an invitation from wifey, mom, dad, and the dog; and from me of course. Be our guest when you visit India. We would love to host the man whose ability to make people laugh exceeds that of Kapil’s.

Wishing you the best for your election campaign.
Anand and Family
(Signed: Anand, Wifey, Mom, Dad, and the Family Dog.)

Behind the scenes:
Mom: Puttar (Son,) you’ve added your wife’s name between yours and mine! I knew that one day she’ll come between us!

If you enjoyed this post, find more of my Quirky, Snarky, Malarkey in The QSM Magazine.

The QSM Magazine - Humor, Satire, and Parodies - Desi Humour and Funny Anecdotes - Download your free copy.

About Anand

Parodist, Humorist, Caricaturist, Nerd.
This entry was posted in anand's caricatures, humor, Parody, Political Caricatures, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to A Letter to Donald Trump – because He is him!

  1. I think I’m finally speechless! I didn’t see the show but I do appreciate that no one could imitate “the Donald” because heeeeee is him!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. maddy says:

    Thanks for directing me to the video! Very entertaining as was your post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. rosemawrites says:

    Oh my! I can’t help but laugh! Really! Nice one! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lula Harp says:

    That was brilliant! Well done as always. I’ll let you know when I stop laughing

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Anand I say this with fondness, you are absolutely silly :):) and I am sure your family dog thinks so too. I cried from laughter.


  6. Hahaha! Trump has become quite the entertainer and the part where he says, “I’m going to create jobs in this country, I’m just gonna do it. It just happens.” was hilarious! Enjoyed your open letter very much! Your writing is brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Srinath TK says:

    Awesome… woahh I cant control my laughter… the ending.. donate a part of campaign for makeup was awesome…anand.. kudos!!!


  8. Alok Singhal says:

    Puttar aisa mat hone dena, nahin to family mein darar padh jayegi 😛

    On Mr Trump, he is he (seriously)…how can people vote for him, i don’t understand!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anand says:

      Oji, in mom’s view wifey is the daraar – or at least the hammer that brought about the crack. Trump mania is a trickier topic – I think the fact that he brings untalkable-issues (immigration – wall on the border, vets, government spending) out in the open. Unlike other politicians who tip-toe around the tricky issues, he speaks about them (as he says he needn’t give in to the lobbyists because he is putting his own $1B into the campaign) – I guess that’s what makes him popular. Whether or not they will vote for him when it’s Republican vs. Democrats is to be seen – and in all probability, given the new mix of American population, if he emerges as the Republican candidate, Republicans may lose…again.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Marquessa says:

    I will definitely have to youtube it!


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