497 marks out of 500! What lies ahead?

Delhi girl Sukirti Gupta has set a new standard for examinees India-wide. Now parents have a new bench-mark for their kids, and those prepping up for taking the board exams next year now have a new kind of nightmare – they now see menacing fours and nines and sevens in their dreams, and then they wake up screaming.

But all this fades in comparison to the resulting benefits. For instance, expect businesses to benefit from Sukirti’s feat. I also believe that in future all this may lead to stronger familial bonding in India’s already bonded-by-fevicol families.

Motivational Products for Children:

I hear that some stationery manufacturers are planning to recruit a phoren-ka-cartoonist (foreign cartoonist) to create a cartoon likeness of Sukirti so that they may manufacture geometry boxes and notebooks with the cartoon on top with a callout near her head with a motivational anecdote from her life. For instance, “I used to wake up at 2 in the morning, walk straight into the bathroom, and dunk my head in a bucket of ice water. If I could do it, you can do it too!”

Advertisements of Coaching Institutes:

I’ve also come to know that coaching institutes are thinking of roping in Sukirti’s look-alikes for advertising their offerings. The copy of such ads could read, “I studied at Tunkuram Institute and got a near-perfect score,” or “waste neither light nor life by studying hard, when you can study smart – enroll yourself in Pinkuram Institute to become the next topper!”

Names of the Indian Newborns:

If it is not already happening to little newborn babies all across the country, I am confident that it will begin shortly. Parents will now begin to name their daughter Sukirti and their sons Sukirtan, in the hope that eighteen years later,  The Times of India will publish their picture with their naak ka baal (hair of their nose – as in their blue-eyed child,) parivar ka gaurav (honor of the family,) and khaandaan ki shaan (pride of their dynasty) – in which they’ll be seen proudly proclaiming how on the chromosomal level they were the ones responsible for those 490-some marks out of 500.

So you see, it is just the beginning of a grading-apocalypse. But I’ll leave a more in-depth analysis of the situation to Arnab Goswami and speak about matters closer to the QSM Magazine:

Last week Piyusha Vir, the Wandering Soul of the blogging world, decided to take matters into her own capable hands and shunted me out of the Facebook Page Management business. I accepted her decision and handed the page over to her. Now she is the editor of the page and in the last 5 days, the page likes have already crossed 50! I’d like to thank her for not just lending me a helping hand, but also for placing trust in QSM’s potential.

If you are on Facebook and you haven’t liked the QSM Magazine’s Facebook page yet, please do so now. A lot of good stuff is waiting to happen there 😀

 

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About Anand

Parodist, Humorist, Caricaturist, Nerd.
This entry was posted in indian humor, Parody, Satire, The QSM Magazine and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to 497 marks out of 500! What lies ahead?

  1. 497!!! Shameful score I tell you. Where did those 3 lost marks go? Where?!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sandeept252 says:

    Imagine the frustration on those who will repeatedly taunted with this score!

    “Sukriti got 497, why can’t you?”
    “Why did you only get 495? Why not 497?”
    And so on…
    She did great but blasted a frustration explosive.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Anand says:

      I can’t imagine the pressure…or may be I can. I remember how terrible it was to go home and tell that someone else scored higher than me in a subject. Both my Mom and Dad would look at me with such disdain. “Why did you get less marks than him/her?” I had answers…good ones too, but never had the nerve to reply back, because the act of replying back was punishable with belts and rods. I am glad that childhood got over…finally. But serious stuff aside, how did she manage that score?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ashok says:

    I remember my time – I scored 33 in maths, 75 in english, and 60 somethings in rest of my subjects. The entire class was jealous of me back then.
    Now kids are ruining the fun – 497!!!
    What am i gonna tell my 4 month baby? To score a perfect 500, or think beyond that and score 600 out of 500 when he’ll be in school? Naa… from his face i can easily make out that he’ll never go beyond 50 or 60 marks out of 100:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anand says:

      Tell your kid that he should follow in his dad’s footsteps, because marks to don’t make a man who leaves a mark on the pages of history. If his face tells you that he’s as witty as you are, he’ll be set for life!

      Liked by 1 person

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