Makeup-shakeup Beauty-sheauty – mentioning it is my duty!

Pristine beauty-sheauty hai bakwaas,
yeh sab to hai ji makeup ka kamaal!

Translation:
Pristine beauty is nothing but hogwash;
Makeup created this whole look, by God!

Use the word pristine in a thirteen word story, she said, and I started scratching my head.

Right now, my head stands at the threshold of a new hairless existence, and wifey is becoming overly possessive of my hair. She has a long list of dos and don’ts, a hand-me-down from her mom. The fact that on a full-moon night, my father-in-law’s head can confuse a moon-gazer, is beside the point. “He still had full head of hair when he had turned 50,” wifey insists.

Snipping a long yarn short, wifey doesn’t want me to leap into the deserted lands of bald pates, nor does she want to let the world see my grays. So when I sat scratching my head, she decided to broach the subject again, “You are so handsome and if you colored your hair, you’d look not a day older than 28! And stop scratching your head. You’ll make the hair fall off!”
“They are rooted in my scalp,” I retorted, “they won’t fall off! And I don’t want to color my hair. I want to keep those grays. One of my blogging friends told me that they’d make me look distinguished!”
“Distinguished?” wifey snickered, flaring her nostrils and pursing her lips. “You trust them more than you trust me? I know more about make up and looking good than you do, don’t I?”

I saw the catch. Plain and clear. I also saw the answer to Rashmi’s riddle.

Pristine beauty-sheauty hai bakwaas,
yeh sab to hai ji makeup ka kamaal!

Translation:
Pristine beauty is nothing but hogwash;
Makeup created this whole look, by God!

On hindsight, I shouldn’t have recited it aloud. But I did. Earlier, the Sunday breakfast plans included mooli ke paranthe with butter and tomato-chutney. That was before I wrote the thirteen-word story for Rashmi. Now we’ll be having bread and scrambled eggs.

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About Anand

Parodist, Humorist, Caricaturist, Nerd.
This entry was posted in indian humour, Parody, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

46 Responses to Makeup-shakeup Beauty-sheauty – mentioning it is my duty!

  1. oneta hayes says:

    Wifey is letting you live for another breakfast. Be thankful.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Enjoy your bread and scrambled eggs. Your wifey is actually very kind to let you enjoy a breakfast even after you dared to say that you trust your friends more than her.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Anand says:

      Somali, I am waiting for the day I’ll finally figure out women. You mean I should color my hair per her advice? I never said that I trust my blogging friends more than I trust her. It’s just that sometimes they sound more sensible…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Shailaja V says:

    On the wife’s side here 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Haha….well thank God at least she didn’t approach any baba for rescue…!

    But u never know….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Anand, you should know that there’s only one opinion that actually counts when it comes to your looks and that is wifey’s. We don’t even know what you really look like. You could even be Anandhotep trying to lead us to believe you are this distinguished handsome gentleman and we would never know. Now eat your scrambled eggs and do as you’re told!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Liked the way you coined the combination beauty-sheauty hai bakwaas. Being a foodie clicked on the mooli paranthe link quickly but its not working.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. LOL….love you story! I agree with Meg & Oneta…be thankful that Wifey has allowed you another breakfast! 😀

    Like

  8. NJ says:

    Wow Muli ke parntha 😦 bad day for you buddy 😦 Sympathies ..But you should learn to zip your tongue on such days 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wandering Soul says:

    I like cheesy scrambled eggs. That’s a treat IMO. Lucky you didn’t get only burnt toast 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m telling you, you need to shave your head! I started losing my hair at a young age, and after much procrastination I finally shaved it all off. It really is better than trying to desperately hold on to every last strand of hair. Besides, it’s a bold look that communicates confidence.

    But most importantly, if you shave your head you’ll be *almost* as beautiful as me!

    Like

  11. BunKaryudo says:

    I’m in something of a similar situation (apart for the bit about my wife saying, “You’re so handsome!”) I don’t want to go bald because I don’t think I’d suit it. I also don’t want to dye my hair. I feel like I’ve earned my small but growing collection of grey hairs, so why should I hide them?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Alok Singhal says:

    You are better off since yours are gray, mine are white (some). I color them, but i still hear from wifey sometimes 🙂
    I guess they have to say that anyway, in their genes!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Jackie says:

    Why is it that men with gray hairs are ‘distinguished’? If we try to get away with it, either someone says “your roots are showing a bit, aren’t they?” or “are you letting your hair go natural now?” Or better yet, (and this is a direct quote from a college friend when I was 28), “You got gray hair!” Ugh.
    Hubby’s hair is getting that salt and pepper look, and it’s not bad – I just wish he wouldn’t cut it so short – it’s natural state is thick and curly. (Must be the Italian side.)
    Oh well, we all want what we ain’t got, it seems!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anand says:

      It’s called ambition and it keeps us going…wanting stuff we don’t have then when we get it, wanting something different. If we were satisfied, we’d sit in a place so long, we’d turn to stone 😀 And if we stopped commenting on the grays of others, what would happen to our own self-esteem? Points to ponder…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Anand says:

      Oh…about the difference in perception – I guess most women color their hair and do things to look better, so if one woman doesn’t, she’s called names (sort of) – it’s a game of numbers. Majority dictates the rules 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Pingback: Happy Valentine’s Day! – Wandering Soul

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