The Harassed Computers Association Strikes Back!

Our Computers are on Strike!

The computers in my house are on strike. Until a week ago, I had no idea the guys were members of a union called the Harassed Computers Association or the HCA. In fact, until about a week ago, I never stopped to think how hard my computer must have been working. As if things weren’t bad enough before, six months ago it had to start working overtime for a shriveled-up mean-spirited Anandhotep who wouldn’t let it rest, even in the wee hours of the morning.

No wonder then, that my uncomplaining friend drew the last straw, joined the HCA and went on strike. With my computer beeping and blinking, I naturally turned my attention to wifey’s computer. I could swear on that rotting mummy, I mustn’t have used it for more than a total of ten hours, and I never asked it to do anything outside its job description; no CPU-killing 3D renders, no surfing on the no-no sites, no anything that could be called harassment. And yet, three days ago, wifey told me that her computer hadn’t reported for duty!

I later learned that my computer had induced her computer to join the HCA.  I have a feeling that there might be something going on between the two. After all, they happen to spend a lot of time together, in the same room.

Any way, two days ago, we received the list of demands.

Meet our Demands or Else!

1. A new RAM for my computer immediately. My computer would return to work only after this condition was met.
2. An additional 4GB of RAM for my computer before two weeks are up.
3. A new Hard-disk for wifey’s computer. Her computer would return to work only after this condition was met.
4. An additional 8GB of RAM for her computer before two weeks are up.
5. Average working hours for my computer must be reduced from 14 to 8, with immediate effect.
6. Anandhotep must stop using hieroglyphical swearwords when he uses my computer. If this digital harassment doesn’t stop, irrespective or whether the other conditions were met, the computers will stop working.

Current Status:

• We’ve been able to meet only one demand so far. Pending compliance of other demands, in the interim, my computer has returned to work.
• Wifey’s computer is still enjoying its time off. Wifey is mad at me because she’s done a root cause analysis and arrived at the conclusion that I am the reason why the computers went on strike.
• I sent a memo to Anandhotep. His reply was a selfie in which he is cuddled with two Egyptian bandaged beauties and sticking out his tongue at me. I trust that’s the only muscle in his body that still works.
  

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