Mr. Goyal vs.Tornado the 190lb Dog – who would you choose?

Was there a time in my life when I chose the unpopular over the popular?
Just one time? Ok, two?!
Then you aren’t talking to me. I am drawn to the unpopular, and the attraction sometimes borders on the fatal.
I invite trouble.

One recent example, and you’ll know what I am talking about.

Last evening, when I left the house for a jog, I had no clue of what lay ahead. I should’ve been alerted of the impending disaster when I turned the corner to arrive on that stretch of the road that ended in a T. T’s as you know are decision-points. As I approached this T, my mind went into an overdrive, trying to decide which way I must go. If I went left, I’d arrive at the big central park of our sector; if I turned right, I’d find a calm and quiet park, but which didn’t have a proper jogging track.

My decision-making was simple, and my decision was obvious. I would turn left…

but just before I turned, I saw them! 

Mr. Goyal, my neighbor of the You-don’t-know-anything fame was coming toward me from the left, and Tornado and his fur-keeper Bir Bahadur were charging at me from the right.

Anyone who knows Mr. Goyal would’ve changed his mind and turned right, preferring to be slobbered, even bitten by a 190 lb dog who kept his Nepali groom on a tight leash, but Mr. Goyal waved at me, and I took the bait. Ignoring the warning beeps and flashes that signaled danger, I still turned left!

Mr. Goyal stopped.
I stopped.
Tornado stopped.

He threw me a dirty look, lifted his leg, and peed on the tire of a parked car.

I saw him do it.
Bir Bahadur saw him do it.
Mr. Goyal saw him do it.
But Mr. Goyal was the only one who took Tornado seriously.

“These dogs,” he fumed, “they pee everywhere!”
“Yes, they prefer tires and tree-trunks,” I laughed, a little self-consciously. While I have a girl-dog who doesn’t indulge in the undignified lift-the-leg peeing, the non-dog people have a difficult time accepting that a girl-dog is any different from a boy-dog.
“You don’t know,” he said, shaking a finger so close to my nose that it might’ve gotten into my nostrils, “these dogs, they are a menace!”
“Why?” I had to ask, and that was my undoing, because then he launched into a poop-bite saga that could put any dog to shame. Any dog but Tornado.

That lovable jowly drooler must’ve heard Mr. Goyal’s diatribe against dogs, because he turned around and charged at us, dragging a hapless Bir Bahadur behind him. I should acknowledge that Tornado and I have been friends for almost an year now. He is the friendliest dog in the neighborhood and he thinks of me as his pal, so I soon realized that he wasn’t charging at us, he was rushing towards me for a rather public display of his affection.

I saw him in slow motion. His tongue out, his eyes filled with joy, his beautiful fur shimmering in the golden light of the setting Sun.
Mr. Goyal saw him too, possibly in fast-forward mode. His tongue out, his eyes filled with mad hatred, his white canines shining cruelly in the yellow light of the…drat…the setting Sun!

Before Tornado could reach me and throw me down to climb over my chest and shower me with his dribble-coated affection; Mr. Goyal was three feet up in the air. His usually acerbic expression having transformed in that of 24-Carat terror!

“You don’t know, he’s coming to bite us!” He shouted, then turned his tail and ran! “Kutta…kutta” (dog…dog,) he screamed at the top of his voice.

The tailor who sits under the tree at the corner, left his work and rushed to help Mr. Goyal, who suddenly became aware of the spectacle he was presenting to the world. He turned and looked at the tailor with disdain mixed with embarrassment. He had been the CEO of a Tata-Birla type company, and he couldn’t stoop low enough to be saved by a tailor. So he gathered his wits, pulled up his collar, and told the tailor that he was fine.

Tornado had gotten to me by then. I was stroking his head, when I heard Mr. Goyal’s remonstration.

“People like you are responsible for all this! You adopt these ill-behaved dogs! You don’t know. I was the CEO of a Tata-Birla type company, and I had hundreds of B.Tech MBAs like you working under me! You don’t know anything about these dogs – they carry diseases, they make people go mad, they bite…they…” he spluttered, then finished his sentence, “they are monsters!”

Then he shuffled away.
Tornado watched him leave, then swished his tail and signaled Bir Bahadur that it was time to go. I could swear I saw a smirk on Tornado’s face.

Ever since I took that unpopular turn that nobody in his right mind would’ve taken, and preferred to bump into Mr. Goyal instead of Mr. Tornado – I’ve been getting dirty looks from both Mr. and Mrs. Goyal. I suspect that Tornado’s reputation too must’ve gotten tarnished, because Mr. Goyal has been going around the neighborhood telling every electricity pole that Tornado is mad.

Tornado, Bir Bahadur tells me, has generally remained unperturbed by the hullabaloo, however he has developed a pee-ference for the tires of Mr. Goyal’s car.

A Note for the Non-Indian Reader: A Tata Birla company is a term used to refer to any old and respected business-house of India.

On popular demand (that has been gaining ground since Mr. Goyal first made an appearance on this blog,) I present you my faithful rendition of Mr. Goyal’s awe-inspiring persona.

Mr. Goyal - the meddlesome, you don't know anything CEO neighbor of Anand, the common Indian urban man.

Penned in response to the Daily Post tag “Unpopular,” which actually is about making unpopular choices and not about the unpopular you. Both ways, it refers to me.

If you enjoyed this post, find more of my Quirky, Snarky, Malarkey in The QSM Magazine.

The QSM Magazine - The Indian Magazine of International Humor - humour magazines from India
The QSM Magazine - The Indian Magazine of International Humor - Desi and American humour magazinesThe QSM Magazine - The Indian Magazine of International Humor - Desi and American humour magazines

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About Anand

Parodist, Humorist, Caricaturist, Nerd.
This entry was posted in anand's caricatures, indian humour, Parody, Personal, Satire, The QSM Magazine and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Mr. Goyal vs.Tornado the 190lb Dog – who would you choose?

  1. Hahahaha! I loved this story, and I love Tornado. I’m afraid your Mr. Goyal is a wimp. Poor guy. So full of himself, yet cannot even deal with a dog!
    Needless to say, your descriptions were vivid and evocative. I swear I saw the whole scene right before my eyes.
    Sorry I’ve been somewhat absent — I need to get on WP more and read. It’s been rather busy here for the past few weeks!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Liked how you described Tornado’s PDA. I wonder if Mr Goyal has read this post and seen his caricature.

    Like

    • Anand says:

      In the previous post I had mentioned that I’ve changed his name to preserve his identity. Hoping that he “doesn’t know” a lot about blogging, and doesn’t see his caricature – because it’s a spitting image of his real self.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. BarbCT says:

    What a wonderful story! I could picture the scene so clearly. Mr. Goyal is a curmudgeon and deserved to be set on his arse. I’m afraid at that point I would have been tempted to pretend to be afraid of Tornado, too, just to see what Mr. Goyal would do when he saw that Tornado was following you, dragging the hapless Bir Bahadur behind him. Hehehehe

    Liked by 2 people

    • Anand says:

      Glad you enjoyed my unpopular choice 😀 Mr. Goyal exists to destroy the eardrums of the community. Had he found another fearful creature, Mr. Goyal’s diatribe would’ve lasted an hour, at the very least. You saved me by your absence.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Wandering Soul says:

    Tornado seems to be fun! Exacting his sweet revenge from Mr. Goyal. I wonder if the electricity poles disagree or no with Mr. Goyal, considering Tornado would at some point have had a pee-ference for the poles too.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Animals seem to have this instinctual sense of when people like them or not. I believe Tornado came to rescue you from the grips of Mr. Goyal’s conversation! Good dog,Tornado! Mr. Goyal should be thankful the neighborhood dogs haven’t taken to peeing on the legs of grumpy know-it-all men!

    Like

  6. Oh my word! I can’t help the laughter. I had a dog, she is late though but she had a penchant of peeing on my neighbours tyres and a particular tyre for that matter. He wasn’t a very nice fellow too and practically frothed at the mouth over the whole affair. The funny thing is that once we stepped out of the compound, Sheila would gallop off at an insane speed and she wasn’t small at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Can’t stop laughing. Funny one.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I love Tornado (great dog name!) and I think your choice turned out to be a wise one, as it gave you a brilliant post!
    I have an uncanny knack for making unpopular choices, but they always make sense to me. Just as an example – I have a Windows phone and like it. Recently heard that only 1.7 percent of cell phone users have a Windows phone. Um… wow.
    Maybe I should invite them over to my house for a party. (What do you think, is it worth a blog post?)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anand says:

      Of course, Christi. With a humorist, anything and anyone is fair game…especially when that anything has a Windows connection. I am so glad I divorced MS (I endured that marriage for almost a dozen years – tried my best to make it work; in the course of 12 years, bought six computers, made Windows join Alcoholics Anonymous, but it kept getting worse!) Later I married Apple…now I can sit on the fence and laugh my guts off at those who cannot cut the umbilical cord. (Please keep those sandals on! Remember, anyone’s fair game for the humorist?! Even a fellow humorist!) (Speaking of unpopular choices – LOL followed by ROFL! You win!)

      Liked by 1 person

  9. BunKaryudo says:

    I must admit, I feel a bit sorry for Mr. Goyal, though goodness only knows why. Perhaps it’s because I get a bit nervous around jumpy dogs too. It’s strange, because I used to have an excitable dog when I was a boy and I got on well with him. I’m regret to say, though, that he did have a tendency to break wind at times, which could obviously be embarrassing if we had company. It got me wondering about your doggy pal. I mean, with a name like Tornado…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. dvaal says:

    I do have a female dog that hikes her leg -it is embarrassing. Loved the story. I don’t know how you come up with these perfect little bits of fun -but I admire your work.
    http://www.fiddledeedeebooks.wordpress.com

    Like

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