Who says that only scientists can be mad. Nobody, hear, nobody can be madder than an Indian artist-programmer being pulled by his mom on one side and his wife on the other. Is it any wonder then that he has developed a split personality?
I am so tired of this dual existence, that on January 1st, when I should’ve been making my New Year Resolutions, I was flat out – dead to the world. Even my resolution-making got postponed! But I’ll gibber and gabber later. Here’s my list.
My Resolutions for the Year 2016.
1. I will not wiggle my nose and try to sniff out the reason why Mom and wifey are at each-other’s throats. If I am able to keep this resolution, it itself will save me countless hours of painful mediation that usually fails.
2. I will not attempt to play the good samaritan to my tipsy uncles and tipsier dad, and mix drinks for them. Being a teetotaler has left me ignorant of the nuance of fermented alcoholic beverages, and keeping away from such benevolent acts will save me from being the butt of their unsavory jokes.
3. I will not write to long-time friends and ask them to read The QSM Magazine, because they assume that this free online humor magazine is raking in millions. They cluck their tongues enviously and tell me, “tu to saale, note tod raha hoga!” (You bugger, you must be reaping millions!”) It feels terrible; it makes me feel stupid. The image of Anandhotep running after his dreams with his bandages unravelling leaving him exposed, explodes in my mind and I tell myself that real-friends don’t say hurtful things. Especially when they know that I work really hard to pay my rent and can’t afford to even replace my old-worn car that I bought when times were better.
4. I will continue to publish the QSM Magazine, come what may, because it spreads smiles and laughter. I don’t care if Anandhotep continues to boss me around; I don’t care if I have to spend all my after-work hours toiling to get it out in time; and honestly, I don’t care if Mom, wifey, and even the dog think that my brain must be fried to believe that the QSM Magazine is the coolest humor magazine out there! I do, and so I resolve to find the best and funniest authors for it and publish it through 2016!
5. Before my blogging friends join forces with wifey and Mom and decide to boycott me, I will get my blogging act together. In 2016, I resolve to get out more – in the virtual world. Except for the three weeks when Anandhotep ties me to my desk and makes me work on the magazine, I will be there for you, my blogging friends!
So that’s that, friends. My five resolutions for the New Year.
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year!