If my Life was a Bollywood Movie…

it would be a multi-starrer!

  • Dad would be the hero, and I, his sidekick. He, I am sure, would not allow anyone other than Amitabh Bachchan to play his character.
  • Mom would start as the god-fearing, caring and (s)mothering Nirupa Roy. After the interval, which would be marked by my marriage to a girl of a different caste, she would change into the critical and caustic Mom-in-Law, played by no other than the brow-quirking, word-munching Lalita Pawar.
  • Wifey would start as a minor character, who in the latter half of the movie would grow into a witty albeit snotty daughter-in-law. She wouldn’t care who played her character, as long as the actress had natural curls.
  • The dog will play herself, because she’s the only one born for the role. What other dog can be trained to sleep eighteen hours a day, hog my bed, decide when to bark and when not to, make those super-cute faces, and change loyalties at the drop of a treat? 

Then of course, there would be those other characters – that keep appearing and disappearing – including my extended family. So I’ll give them a slip and talk about a few others who encumber my life more frequently.

  • My current client who is the Head of Technology in his organization, could be played by either Om Puri or Morgan Freeman. The man is an iceberg. More hidden under than seen over.
  • Mrs. Chaddha, our meddlesome next-floor neighbor, who had a finger in every neighbor’s pie, can be played by no other than Sumit’s Mother.
  • Mr. Goyal, our know-all, forever-right, wife-denigrating neighbor can be played only by himself, or by Achmed’s head stuck at the end of a stick.

Did I miss someone?

No, nobody. Right?!

Of course, in a movie made on my life, I would be a nobody. I’ll by played by fictional but the invisible Mr. India or by the Hollowman, and I know that I won’t be missed.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Ready for Your Close-up.”

If you enjoyed this post, find more of my Quirky, Snarky, Malarkey in The QSM Magazine.

The QSM Magazine - The Indian Magazine of International Humor - Desi and American humour magazinesThe QSM Magazine - The Indian Magazine of International Humor - Desi and American humour magazines

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About Anand

Parodist, Humorist, Caricaturist, Nerd.
This entry was posted in Bollywood Humor and Parodies, humor, Satire, The QSM Magazine and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to If my Life was a Bollywood Movie…

  1. Uday says:

    And do you guys have a family song as well? 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anand says:

    I must leave something to the Director’s discretion.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Archana Kapoor says:

    hmm, interesting 🙂


  4. Sounds like you would have a best-selling movie there Anand 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You got to have an Utpal Dutt going, “EEEEESSSSSHHHH” every now and then!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nadine says:

    And I will be in front seats at the Cinema eating popcorn and watching this movie 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  7. NJ says:

    This seems to be an interesting cast 😛 specially your mom changing her character from being epitome of motherly love to overly-domineering matriarchs 😛 And I think kangana ranaut would be perfect for playing the role of your wifey (no one has better curls than her :P) 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anand says:

      Thank you. Glad you enjoyed my casting efforts. Kangna Ranaut would be the right actress to play wifey’s role…provided her curls are natural. I’ll leave the decision-making to wifey.

      Liked by 2 people

      • NJ says:

        She has natural curls that I know 😛 But yes women are very particular about their things :P..so the last call should be of your wifey’s only 😀

        Liked by 2 people

      • Anand says:

        I wouldn’t dare to tread on her toes – she’s a lot better read than I am, and her repertoire of select keywords far exceeds mine – what’s worse is that she can make it sound like poetry to everyone else who listens in.

        Liked by 2 people

  8. How I love reading your posts! (I must have missed this last week.)
    I would love to see you floating invisibly, with a hat to mark your whereabouts. Wifey sounds stunning.
    The others? Not bad at all!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Nirupa Roy – to Lalita Pawar – Nice switch of characters. 🙂

    Btw Anand wanted to share an update. My book ‘Lei: A wreath for your soul’ is published on Amazon kindle store. It is a collection of tiny poems based on nature and life. The book can be bought for free today on http://www.amazon.in/gp/product/B016S9XHE2. Please have a look and post a quick short review on Amazon if you like the book. Regards.

    Liked by 1 person

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