Mom and Dad went back three days ago.
Before Leaving Noida
We went to the station to see them off. Just wifey and I. The dog refused to go. All the time they were here she felt like a second-grade member of the family and more than twice she bared her fangs at Mom. I don’t blame the dog nor her grouse against Mom, who took possession of her sofa, barred her from sleeping in the bed, and never allowed the dog to lick her plate clean. Which dog can forgive such a meddler?
So the dog refused to see them off.
Smart dog.
But the two of us were there at the station. Honestly, Mom and Dad didn’t need our assistance, their luggage did. Mom had been a busy shopper-ant while she was here, and in her two month long visit, she had acquired six new suits, four new saris, three ugly brass vases, and a bag full of gifts that she could’ve bought in any city in India, including hers.
At New Delhi Railway Station
But let me take you to the station straight away. (That would be the New Delhi Railway station. If someone shot a top-view picture of it – it would look like a cookie-crumb being attacked by a million ants at once!)
At the platform, Mom sighed, “Puttar (Son), I wish we could’ve stayed longer.”
Wifey and I exchanged looks. I jumped in to save the conversation from wifey’s retort.
“Mom, you are anyway coming back in December… for Honey’s wedding,” I said. Dad tut-tuted in the background.
“What Ji?” Mom turned her attention to Dad.
“Nothing,” Dad hastily retracted his tut-tuts. He couldn’t let Mom know that he was sympathetic to our plight.
Fate intervened in form of the train. Shatabdi Express pulled into the station, and the ants at once attacked all its unopened doors, sticking to them with an invisible glue, wanting to be the first ones inside. The fact that Shatabdi is a fully reserved train which doesn’t carry extra-passengers, didn’t matter. Jagah lena (taking our place) is an Indian trait, that we don’t and won’t give up, Shatabdi or Airplane, we always want to be the first ones inside…taking our place!
Mom, as always was a front-runner, dad and I brought up the rear. Wifey, after having touched their feet with lightening speed, had removed herself to a less-crowded area of the platform. The three of us jostled with other similarly charged passengers, trying to ensure that Mom was among the first few inside the coach. After some shoves, a few pushes, and a final heave, she was on the train. Once the first and the most inspired group of passengers was inside, the doorway cleared. Dad, I, and Mom’s luggage followed.
Inside the Shatabdi Express
Once they had settled inside, Mom switch to her caring-mother-mode.
“Puttar, eat well. Every time I see you, you look thinner,” she entreated.
“Teri votti tera khayal nahi rakhdi hai, sookhi roti tey arhal di dal,(Your wife doesn’t care for you, dry unleavened bread and lentils,) that food isn’t fit for a horse,” she complained.
“And what is this nonsense? In December, you give me the good news, or else..” she threatened.
Dad foresaw the impending clash of the titans, and jumped in. “Having a child is their personal decision.” My spirits lifted. At least Dad understood. Then he completed his sentence. “And when they couldn’t do it in ten years, how do you think they can do it in two months?” My spirits crashed.
It was right at that moment that I heard the whistle of the train. It was a sign from God. I was granted bail!
I dipped to touch Mom’s feet. Dad is a military man and doesn’t like his feet to be touched, so he thumped my back before I rushed out of the train and jumped on the platform, just a few seconds before the train started moving.
After The Train Left
Wifey and I waved to Mom and Dad. Then we turned to look at each other, suddenly realizing that it had been a while that we had seen each other properly.
It took a moment for the feeling to sink in.
– We were now free – until December!
– We could hold hands, sit with our feet up on the sofa!
– Eat non-greasy boring food!
– Order a pizza!
And…
– we could go back and tell the dog that the house was hers now…until December!
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Face-splitting grin! Well-done, as always! Happy pizza-eating and having your dog on the sofa! My dog occupies every raised surface of the house except tables, the kitchen counter, the piano, and other such things. No bed, armchair or couch is safe while she’s around. She rules the roost, my dog! We bring her daily tributes, which she accepts with dignity and goofy grin.
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Your dog is after my heart now. Before long she would be living there. When we returned from the station, the dog was confused. She went outside to check whether Mom and Dad were still climbing the steps. I bet couldn’t believe her luck!
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🙂
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Made me laugh! Mothers of sons are the same all over the world! Their daughters-in-law can never measure up!
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And in our case, the daughter-in-law hasn’t yet done the one job that she was entrusted with – she hasn’t even been able to produce a heir to carry on the family name. Mom thinks I should’ve chosen my wife from the array of girls that she had shortlisted for me.
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Oh boy! I failed my mother-in-law in that department too! Give your wifey a hug from me! I’ve walked in the same shoes.
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I’m sort of responsible for it – I’ve been pushing the parenthood thing into the future (gotta get settled first) but thank you. I wish Mom understood.
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It does make for entertaining stories, Anand! You have plenty to write about!
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Oh yes…there isn’t a dearth of material…and they’ll be back in December – until then I’ll be posting about the city and my neighbors 😀
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Oh Anand, reading your posts always make think about my own future 😀 You mom really calls you Puttar? That’s cute 🙂
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That’s cute?! Uday, that “Puttar” is almost always loaded with sarcasm. I cringe when she uses the term, because I know that she’s about to spring up something hurtful right after it.
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Ummm, I can totally see that now. I completely misjudged it for something endearing. Anyway what do I know? My mum always calls me by my real name. (!)
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And don’t worry about your future…you’ll learn to jump the rope.
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Shatabdi express, isint that like the fastest train or something? Enjoyed the post as always! 🙂
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Fastest in India…Mom likes to travel in style and she hates airplanes. “The journey lasts barely an hour – you don’t even get your money’s worth.”
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Wow! That sounds really fast!
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Love love love this post and all of the comments. Enjoy this time with Wifey and you dog.
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Thanks Sarah.They’ll be back in December; we might as well use this window of opportunity to get reacquainted.
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Yes, You will love the peace and quiet. 🙂
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Loving it so far 😀 But Mrs. Chaddha’s meddling in our affairs grows everyday!
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That was so funny. your dad sounds hoot too, very dry! I am glad that you, wifey and the dog can have a bit of respite now and enjoy doing what you want! 🙂
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Yeah…he is the snarky one. When you think he’s got your back, he lowers his gun and pulls out a packet of chewing-gum.
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Ha ha! I like his style 😆
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Btw, he quite a looker too.
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He has got the lot then! 🙂
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Charismatic. He must’ve been quite a casanova in his youth – but Indian kids don’t ever get to know the juicier details of their parents’ lives.
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I thoroughly enjoyed more of your fantastic family fare.
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Thank you Oneta. I am flangipropped!
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I can totally imagine a fabulous sitcom about you and your family! I’d 100% watch that!
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I am sure, Mom would like to play her own part in it.
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That would make it even better.
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@Anand I would like to nominate Anands Parodies & Caricatures – Quirky, Snarky, Malarkey blog for the Blogger Recognition Award. Thank you for your comments and support during the course. Fabulous caricatures, you are a talented artist and an inspiring, fun writer Anand! [https://samanthaw34.wordpress.com/2015/10/05/8-expanding-comments/]
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Hi Samantha,
Thank you for the honor and for your kind words. I appreciate them a lot. I am glad that we got an opportunity to connect through the writing101 course.
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That was hilarious!! 😀
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Thanks…does Mumbai present similar scenes?
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Love your caricatures and ur dog… Wonder how your mum feels when she reads these posts?..
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Thank you…the dog is the only one who has been able to strike a balance so far. While The chances of this material reaching mom are remote, I have a feeling that she should feel elated. I only talk about her good points, you see.
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Pingback: Free-For-All Friday #32 | Edwina's Episodes
Thank you Edwina. I am honored by the mention (the dog is too.) She wants me to observe that you chose the post that had her in the title.
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That was hilarious! Your story telling is fantastic.
I feel for your dog, ours is also a fully fledged member of the family, allowed wherever he pleases. His nose would seriously be put out of joint if he was suddenly treated like a pet. (My husband tries that approach every now and then but loses. No one messes with my furbaby). The dog only uses his own bed to eat dog biscuits in, otherwise he’s with me on the couch or bed, usually looking at my husband with an expression that says, “why are you here too? Don’t you have something to do?”
Enjoy having your own space back. I’d never cope with parents staying IN my house, right there, in my face, for two months. You and your wife are true survivors 😛
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Kyly, you have a way with words…and you are supremely talented when it comes to writing about your fur baby! I know I can be patient, but the patience comes at a price…as I said in my newest post, “I am a pressure-cooker!” I’ll send you an email later in the day.
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Thanks for the compliment 😀
Looking forward to reading your new post 😉
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Sorry for not emailing you yesterday…sometime today 😀
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Not to worry. Your post showed up in my Reader anyway. Fabulous as usual 😀
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Thank you, Kyly. An emergency has been keeping me away from the computer…
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Oh no. Hope all is okay….
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Emailing you.
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Being an Indian and upon that being a married Indian woman 🙂 I can understand everything so much better 😛 But I liked the way you made whole thing so much funny 🙂
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Thank you, NJ. Honestly, I do nothing to make it funny – I just let it all come to a boil, then let it simmer for a while – surprisingly it comes off the flame tasting “funny.”
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That’s an art 😉 Knowing till when to boil and when to simmer is part of genius 😉
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Thank you NJ. If you so insist, I accept the honor 😀
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Ha ha 😀 now that’s like a good boy 😉
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This is deliciously funny. I love it. I’m here by way of Edwina’s blog. 😀 😀
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Welcome here. I’ll visit her blog to see what’s going on 😀
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I love your dead pan delivery! 😀
Sure, take a peak. Why not?
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😀 Visited, came back strutting like a peacock.
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😀 😀 😀
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How did I not know that Mother dearest is leaving 😉oh well, you need a break to regain some strength till December and Miss Doggy too 😆. I am sure she has a lot to say!
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Jacqueline, you miss the sight of the forest when you look at the trees. The forest is lovely, dark, and green…except that Mrs. Chaddha is stepping up to fill the vacuum created by Mom’s absence.
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Woo-Hoo! Another Mama in the house. I shall look at the forests now and not just the trees 😉
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Right…the whole is often greater than the sum of its parts.
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Agreed 🙂 You are a smart guy 😉
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I was looking for Indian bloggers and came across this post. I expected something serious when I saw “Out on bail…” but it came as a pleasant surprise. Made me laugh, it was a like a “visual humours story”.
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Glad I could surprise you. It was indeed like bailing out of a plane on fire 😀
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Hahaha.. what a post!!! But hey, Anand, the last lines.. er.. don’t you think your mom and dad looked at each other and thought exactly the same thing??? 😀
*And, my sympathies.. went through the same thing about bearing progeny.. except with a deaf old aunt, who literally yells in public.. huh? what?? no children yet?? why not??? and I mumble sheepishly, whisper, that it is not time yet.. that we have to settle down first… and she shouts.. in a wedding hall, no less… “Arey, then get yourself checked up.. these days doctors work miracles… you will be fertile in no time at all”…. ground, please open up and swallow me… 😀
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Not sure of that. I have a feeling that they see themselves as our gaolers when they visit – and Mom thrives on ordering people around. You are right about the deaf aunts, who you hope were dumb too – but they never are. In my post on Relatives, I’ve illustrated the behavior of one such meddling aunt. Thanks so much for visiting and sympathizing – wifey wants me to tell you that she totally understands.
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😀 . Loved the post. You have described the Indian trait perfectly. It’s so true that we always want to be the first ones to get inside a train, even if all the seats are reserved.
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And on a bus…and in a cinema hall…we want to be the first – it doesn’t matter if someone gets hurt in the process. I think it’s a leftover trait from the days of scarce resources…
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