Ten Indian Relatives are Worth Ten Thousand.

“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.”
– Euripides

His insightful observation on relatives, one that he made 2500 years ago, tells us that in all these centuries, relatives haven’t evolved one bit.

Euripides, I read, was a writer of plays, mainly of tragedies. In my modern opinion, a man who boasted of an experience of comparing ten thousand relatives with one loyal friend, would automatically begin to specialize in tragedies. After all, his life would have been one big tragedy.

Twice every year a North-Indian man has to meet his relatives. Come hail or high water, he must brave the hail and swim the high-waters to meet his relatives on Diwali and Holi.  Following are the tasks that must be checked off on his to-do list, on each of these festivals.

1. Buy a dozen boxes of sweets or dried fruits (almonds, pistachios, cashews etc.,)
2. Refresh the list of the names of all his newborn relatives (If seven of your dad’s eleven siblings live in the same city as you do, this list grows at an alarming rate.)
3. Draw up a mental roadmap connecting the dots that are his relatives’ houses. (The prioritization is often done on the basis of a relative’s seniority in the family. For instance, you must first visit the Taya Jis (Dad’s elder brothers) and then the Chacha Jis (Dad’s younger brothers).)
4. He must visit each of their houses with his own little family in tow. (For the writer of this post, it’s two-third of his family, as canine-family-members aren’t welcome in his relatives’ houses.)

And yet, when we return, with barely enough energy to drag ourselves up the steps that lead to our main door, we are epitomes of such tragic expression that Euripides would have loved to cast us in one of his tragedies.

Why?
Snappy snapshots will help you see the picture.

At my Aunt’s:
“Beta (son), now it’s time to have kids.”
“Bua Ji, we will.”
“When beta? is there a problem? I know a Guru ji who can help. You can tell me, beta. You need not hide anything from your Aunt. I’ve seen you in diapers, beta.”

At my Uncle’s:
“Oye puttar, hun navi car le le.  (Son, you must now buy a new car.) You’ve been driving that bucket of bolts for what, some 8 years now!”
“Taya ji, I will – the budget is a little tight this year.”
“Oho, look at your cousin (he points to his son,) he is on his third car in just 5 years!”
Then his wife, my Tayi ji, pips in.
“And why isn’t your wife wearing jewelry, puttar? Naked wrists don’t look good.”

At my other Uncle’s:
“Are you still staying on rent? Buy a house now.”
“Chacha Ji, I can’t right now, but yes it’s on the cards.”
“Oho, look at Pinki (he points to his daughter,) her husband has bought an apartment in Gurgaon. It cost him 1.2 Crores ($200K)!
Then he lowers his voice and says, “You are earning well, aren’t you?”

• Twice every year we go through the same harrowing experience, for no reason at all!
• Twice every year we leave our houses filled with trepidation that we stifle with the hope that this year things would be different!
• Twice every year we return from our journey, exhausted, tired, and drained!

2500 years ago Euripides too must have gone through a similar experience, or what would make him proclaim that
“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.”

Translations:

Bua Ji: Dad’s sister.
Taya Ji: Dad’s elder brother.
Tayi Ji: Dad’s elder brother’s wife.
Chacha Ji: Dad’s younger brother.
Guru Ji: A self-proclaimed godman.