To appreciate my mom’s exquisite talent and unparalleled skill at building bombs and grenades from the week-long media coverage of Indrani Mukherji’s crime, you must first be introduced to Mukherjea and her crime, which the Indian media is calling MOM or the Mother of all Murders!
Indrani Mukherjea, a rich socialite of 47-years or so has been blocking the Indian news pipelines for more than a week. Even Modi ver 1.0 and Rahul ver 2.0 haven’t been able to push her out of the limelight. Are you wondering what this woman must’ve done to have become so popular?
Well, she strangulated her daughter, kept her in the boot of her car for the night, then carefully made up her face, sprayed her with perfume, sat her daughter’s corpse between herself and her ex-husband in the rear-seat of her car, then disposed off the body by setting fire to it.
What kind of mother does this to her own flesh and blood?
This is the question that mom has been asking. Each time Indrani’s face pops up on our television screen, mom props her glasses on her nose, and laps up every little detail of the crime.
Two days ago, the day before Janamashtami, we were watching the news – mostly watching, because listening becomes difficult when Mom starts commenting. That evening she was feel a lot more garrulous than usual.
“What sort of woman is she? She killed her own daughter!” she mused.
“Even if she was troublesome – killing her wasn’t the right thing to do. Puttar, you and your sister made my life hell for years, I suffered in silence,” she complained.
“Sometimes you would really drive me up the wall. There were times when I wanted to throw you off a cliff, but did I? I didn’t. ” she recalled.
Then she turned to me and asked, “Do you know why?”
“Because there were no cliffs around the place we lived?” I ventured.
“Silly boy. I didn’t, because mothers don’t kill their babies,” she said. Then as an afterthought, she added, “but you are right, there were no cliffs around the place we lived.”
So I learned that mom did want to throw me off a cliff.
“Puttar, think about it. You could’ve been born to a mother like Indrani. What then?” She quizzed me.
“What then?” I quizzed her back.
“Learn to appreciate the fact,” she said, looking into my eyes, pinning me down with her unwavering gaze.
“Oh, I totally do,” I replied, my voice turning somewhat squeaky as I imagined being throttled by a mother randomly picked from the barrel that contained child-murdering moms.
“You could’ve been her son,” she jabbed her index finger at the image of Indrani flickering on the screen.
Indrani was paying her son to keep his mouth shut; Mom was bamboozling me into keeping my mouth shut.
Indrani may have killed me through strangulation; mom usually tries to kill me with her effusive pampering that leaves me breathless!
“You are lucky,” mom said, now in a matter-of-fact, even voice.
I nodded. While probabilistically, being born to anyone of the 999 of 1000 non-killer moms may just be a normal statistical outcome; if mom says I am lucky, then to stay lucky, I must accept her evaluation and judgment.
I’m banking on the fact that mom’s being near-sighted would prevent her from reading the small font of this article. So here’s the conclusion in a bigger font-size – exclusively for her benefit.
My Mom is the Best!
If you enjoyed this post, find more of my Quirky, Snarky, Malarkey in The QSM Magazine. |
Awesome choice of words 🙂
Keep up the good work
LikeLike
Thanks Lahari 🙂 I’ll try…the occasional typos will still keep trying their best to derail me, but I won’t give up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
…And of course your caricatures are great! 😀
LikeLike
““Sometimes you would really drive me up the wall. There were times when I wanted to throw you off a cliff, but did I? I didn’t. ” she recalled.
Then she turned to me and asked, “Do you know why?”
“Because there were no cliffs around the place we lived?” I ventured.”
Hahahahahah LOL 😀 😀 😀
You are too much man. You converted sad beginning into a comic piece. I was not familiar with this case as I don’t follow news at all. 🙂
A suggestion: If you have already read it in the forum then please ignore it. 🙂
I can’t read your posts in the Reader in full. If you deliberately set it like this then fine. Else you can help me save some time and still maintain me as a regular reader, friend and commentator.
Please do what you fell is best for your blogging adventure.
Best Wishes,
Anand 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
As I have said before…you have the eyes of a seer. You can see comedy in tragedy, my friend. This was an illustration of my mom’s manipulative methods. She’s too much…really.
The truncation is based on my own preferences. I prefer to see a snapshot of the content – if I like it, I go to the site and read it. In life too, I prefer a phone call to a text, and a personal visit to a phone call. Hope the stories of my tragic existence will still draw you to my blog, my friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s fine my friend. Are you familiar with Reader Window? If you click on the content of any posts–say mine for example–it opens fully in the Reader window and you can read it without any distractions 🙂
You are one of my favorite authors here so I am going to continue visiting no matter what you do. 🙂
Anand
LikeLiked by 1 person
No throwing me off the cliff?
LikeLiked by 1 person
No dear, we are pals 🙂 But do you know the joy Reader gives when there are no sidebars? Have you tasted it?
LikeLike
No…won’t try. BTW, I am a teetotaler.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You should. Once. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I tried it once…but not again. It goes for liquor too.
LikeLike
Loved your humorous take on this MOM.
Speaking of moms, my aunt won’t believe that Indrani is Sheena’s biological mother. 😛 She’s convinced that Sheena was adopted.
LikeLike
Laughing Anand, Yes, TV watching would be hard to do with your mom around.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Better than being strangled and killed…it appears that I had limited options. I could either get a killer mom or my mom. She didn’t grow me off the cliff, you see.
LikeLike
This post is a glittering gem, for sure. I’m thinking of a “Can You Top This?” award for you. i don’t think you can be topped for delightful, hilarious, and clean humor. This MOM loves your MOM stories.
LikeLike
Haha… I enjoyed reading your post and well being a mom I could really connect with her. 🙂 Through your post, she has given me guidance and tips on how to handle my kids too.
Jokes apart, you have a great sense of humor and in a simple post, you have taken the jab at the media too. Was it intentional: 🙂 ?
Brilliant piece of writing.
Best
Katie
Admin
Chennaifocus.in
LikeLike
Super interesting 😀
LikeLike
Thanks Sreejith.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: An Indian Dinner for Miley, Obama, Dali, and Agatha Christie | Anand's Parodies & Caricatures.