Porn-sites Banned then Unbanned – A Collective Sigh of Relief.

Two days ago, Indian Government banned access to 857 porn- and other morally-bankrupt sites in India. Indian men don’t cry, but when they heard the announcement, half of them locked themselves in their bathrooms and wailed.

Indian men spend their adolescence battling two opposing expectations. All women, with a few exceptions, expect them to stay virgin until their wedding nights. All men expect them to be smart enough to lose their virginity before marriage, or at least know about what fits in where and how, without leaving the women in their families any wiser. Between these two expectations, they must find an outlet for all that irrepressible energy building up in their nether region.

Porn-sites simplify the entire process. One of my friends recently observed, “these boys today, it’s all so easy for them,” then after a pause he added with a long audible sigh, “and it’s the high-resolution animated version.”

In our time, the whole process of growing up under the tutelage of our immediate seniors among friends and relatives was a sweet ecstasy. They taught you the logistics of the whole process – from procurement, to transportation, to its eventual consumption. And then you’d put the whole theory into action.

You’d slink into your house with the magazine warm against your skin, tucked under your vest; you’d be dying to get to a secluded place so that you could relish the surprises within. But all that would come to a nought. Your mom or your grandmother would’ve already planned something for you.

“Aa gaya beta, ab jaldi se jaake Dimpi ko tuition se le aa!”
“You are back, son! Now quickly go and fetch your sister from tuition!”

or

“Kahan tha beta? Chal ab Ramayan ke do panne padh de mere liye.”
“Where were you son? Ok, now that you are back, read a couple of pages from Ramayana for me.” (The non-Hindi speaking visitors can substitute “Ramayana” with “Bible” to get the gist of it.)”

So your rendezvous with those glossy pages would get postponed indefinitely. Instead, you’d either by walking home with your desire clinging to your chest, and your sister by your side rattling away the periodic table. Or. You’d be sitting near the cot of your grandmother, reading aloud how Sita crossed the Laxman Rekha, while your heart would be beating hard against the magazine that you had procured after putting your life and dignity on the line, and you’d be wondering if you’ll find an opportunity to safely cross your laxman rekha before the day ended.

I believe that no father wants his son to go through the trials and tribulations that he went through and I trust that this must have been the reason why the ban was lifted. We want our sons to have easier, happier, and more fulfilling lives – and we don’t want them to be wasting their precious time hunting porn, when they can find it with a click or a tap.

Flagging expectations rise once again – and my faith in our Government is restored. They indeed want what’s best for the youth of India.
 

If you enjoyed this post, find more of my Quirky, Snarky, Malarkey in The QSM Magazine.

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About Anand

Parodist, Humorist, Caricaturist, Nerd.
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18 Responses to Porn-sites Banned then Unbanned – A Collective Sigh of Relief.

  1. Francesca says:

    Entertaining and insightful post!

    Like

  2. Vibrant says:

    Hello Anand,

    I enjoyed your witty repartees. You make us smile. Thanks for doing this. Keep it up! The Ramayana one is most dazzling because religions have been so against the natural urges–when you’re steaming–the thought of reading religious literature(though that also has its share of sensuality…you know!) is so enervating!

    I have not followed the ban debate–though I wonder how come they unbended the bend so soon.

    Also I did an honour mention of your blog in my post a few hours ago.

    I look forward to get more giggles and smiles on your blog.

    Sincerely(seriously?)

    Anand 🙂

    Like

    • Anand says:

      Thanks Anand.

      Yes, religion and sex stand opposite to each other. Religion with the sword of righteousness in its hand, ready to lop off the head of desire. That episode had happened with a friend and we laughed our heads off when he narrated it to us. Reminded me of the movie Fire where that sadist servant would make the mute grandmother watch porn with him. The ban debate lasted for a grand total of 48 hours. I don’t know if I can handle today’s assignment. The question that I need to answer is – do I have a target audience at all?

      Thanks for visiting and commenting. I appreciate your visits and your insightful remarks. Anandita Bhavah!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Vibrant says:

        Thanks for your beautiful comment. It must have been a hilarious event for you guys. I know about religious dogma. Oh that scene must have been very intensely stressful I haven’t seen movie though. I would keep visiting your blog in my capacity. Bliss and peace to you too 🙂 Anand

        Like

  3. Francesca says:

    This may be the single best, most human thing I have ever heard said about pornography. And at the end of it, it serves as a reminder of this one thing: we have bodies, and the human and sensual part of our lives is important. It’s not the most important thing, but often finding a way to balance means using different means.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anand says:

      Thanks Francesca. I too believe that denying our sensuality isn’t the way to spirituality, but then what do I know. I am an average man with average expectations from life. When an event touches me, I write about it – and this did… mainly because of the hypocrisy the accompanied it. Thanks for reading my post and commenting. I appreciate your candid views on it.

      Like

      • Francesca says:

        Anand, I agree with you so completely. It is such an important — and beautiful part of being human. I have friends who teach psychology, who have a speciality in human sexuality. I think we should all have to take classes in it. I think it would help us all. Anyway, I found what you wrote to be humorous and true. Please keep writing the same way — about anything that strikes you. You have brought me to — well, I guess, India, with what you have written. The topics don’t really matter. Your honesty with you subject is what makes it. I appreciate your work, and will point friends towards you blog.

        Thank you for your blog. You draw us all closer together.

        Francesca

        Like

      • Anand says:

        Thanks Francesca. Your remark means a lot to me. I am really happy that it could establish the right connections. And welcome to India.

        Like

  4. ramida78 says:

    I found this read funny and very entertaining in such a clean way. Unexpected when you consider the title haha. Love your writing!
    By the way, Ramayana is pretty big in my country too (Thailand), but it’s considered more of an epic classical literature every kid has to know about. I know this came originally from India, but it’s interesting nevertheless to find that the book is more of a bible there.

    Like

  5. Pingback: The Liebster Award can’t be taken Lying Down! | Anand's Caricatures and Parodies.

  6. smilerrn says:

    Once again you have tackled the subject with humour and as they say, laughter is the best medicine.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anand says:

      Thanks Bryson. It’s a matter close to the male heart – and so I had to tread with caution. Truly glad that you enjoyed the travails of an Indian male trying to somersault into adulthood.

      Like

  7. smilerrn says:

    Hi Anand Bryson is my surname so just call me Smiler I’ve had the name off & on for about 50 years.I feel as if I’ve done something wrong if I’m called Bryson.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anand says:

      I am sorry. I know the feeling well – actually we live together, the feeling of having done something wrong and I. Now on, on this blog, you’ll always be smiling, Smiler.

      Like

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