Nude Celebrity Pictures stolen and posted on the web! It could happen to me!!

Those hackers…Those cunning, mean, crafty, unethical, but resourceful hackers who had nothing better to do with their time, hacked into the iCloud accounts of  beautiful celebrity women (Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, Kelly Brooks, Kristin Dunst, Hope Solo etc.), found their nude pictures, downloaded them, and posted them online.

The news has scared me into changing my password and my secret question – because these are the two hi-tech tools that those immoral, pervert hackers have used to barge into the accounts of these celebrities.

Why must I worry?

My semi-nude pictures have almost the same potential to go viral on the Internet. Several pictures that I’ve deleted may still be undeleted and stolen by the hackers.

These damaging pictures include:

  • My picture in the shower. It’s waist-up, but you never know what may appeal to the perverts who lurk in the virtual shadows of the Internet.
  • Another picture in which I can be seen wearing a pair of wet shorts. Now that’s the one that makes me most afraid. Some say that partial exposure is more evocative than a full monty, and if this is true and women actually start arriving in droves outside my house, my wife…well, let’s just say, she isn’t going to be happy.
  • And then there are my dog’s pictures – all without collar, mind you. She puts on the collar only when she leaves the house. I’ve tried counseling her on this, but does she listen to me? Nope. Never. Nada. If those pictures are stolen, my dog will be laughed at by all the other dogs that she meets on her walks. This could lead to severe psychological issues…I have no idea if there’s a dog-psychologist in this part of the world! Of course, she’s going to blame me for it – because I was the fool who took all those nekkid pics of hers.

So I sit here wallowing in guilt.

  • Why, oh, why did I shoot those pictures?
  • And why did I let Apple back them up to iCloud automatically?
  • And why did I use the security question, “what is my name?”? (I think that I did better than Sarah Palin whose secret question to her email account was: “what’s my birthday?” Alaska, she was your governor – Right?)
  • And why did I use the password “admin123”?

I can’t imagine my stolen pictures being MMSed, and honestly, I don’t want to even think of the comments the viewers would make, when they see those pictures. I’ve got my fingers crossed as I pray that my account stays secure. Apple says it has plugged the infinite password tries bug and I hope that they really have.

I want to make an appeal to everyone who reads this post.

If and when my stolen pictures surface, please don’t view them. There are enough willingly shared pictures of men in wet knickers, of dogs without collars, and of a man in shower – go watch those. These are private images, and when you come across them, shut your eyes – or I’ll say that you are as guilty as the hackers had been.  They would be “stolen goods.” And please, please, please don’t call it a leak, call it a theft, because that’s what it would be. I won’t be responsible for it, even though I left the key in the lock.

I also hope that if and when it happens to me, the FBI finds the hackers and puts them away – so that life can return to normal for me and my dog.

If you enjoyed this post, find more of my Quirky, Snarky, Malarkey in The QSM Magazine.

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About Anand

Parodist, Humorist, Caricaturist, Nerd.
This entry was posted in humor, Odd News, Parody, Satire, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Nude Celebrity Pictures stolen and posted on the web! It could happen to me!!

  1. Nancy J says:

    Geez….I can just visualize those pictures in my mind…….no need to break into your iCloud account to view them in person. I certainly hope that you have made your iCloud account more secure so that no one can blackmail you later on. Use better judgement in the future and your private memories will remain private.


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